paper graffiti

My biggest goal, my lifelong dream, is to finish writing a novel.  After all, you have to finish it before you can publish it, right?

I am great at starting things, and I think if life didn’t get in the way, I would be great at finishing them too.  But sadly, that’s just not the way things usually work–I can’t quit my day job and devote myself to being a full-time fledgling author, even though I would love to do nothing more.

I have responsibilities, and I have a life away from the computer, the notebook, and the novel.  I can’t ignore those.  My life interrupts my dreams frequently, whether it’s a health issue, a big project at the office, or an occurence beyond my control that is just plain more important than blogging or writing.

I get so used to having to set aside my novel–my dream, my goal–for the important stuff that I let the little stuff start getting in the way, too.  I’ll find myself surfing the Internet, watching Project Runway, or organizing my iTunes collection instead of writing.  Once I let myself stop treating it like it’s important, it falls by the wayside and it’s hard to get back on the wagon again.

Not only am I getting back on the wagon, I’m getting in the driver’s seat.  There are things in this world that I can’t control, but the one thing I know I can control is ME.  I used to be good at setting goals, meeting them, and exceeding them, so i know I have it in me if I just put my dream first for a change.  I think we have the tendency to put off our dreams because they don’t feel tangible or realistic, and usually only realize that it’s time to push towards fulfilling those dreams when we might not have another chance down the road.  I do that all the time, and it stops here.  I’ve been inspired by too many successful, driven people lately to let my suddenly acquired sloth-like habits get the better of me.

I’m setting some goals for myself to get back up to the high volume of writing that I used to be able to attain without even breaking a sweat.  I’ve participated in National Novel Writing Month for 4 of the last 5 years, but I haven’t ever made it to 50,000 words in November, so I’m going to prepare until I’m blue in the face, and then write my butt off until November 31.  So I have a schedule for myself:

• By the end of this month, I will have written 12,500 words–1/4 of the National Novel Writing Month goal.  That means that for the next 12 days, I have to write 1042 words per day.
• In September, I am planning on doubling my word count to 25,000 words.  That should get me in the groove to make the big push in November.
• In October, I plan on writing 25,000 more words, as well as doing the outlining, research, and planning for my November project.  I make the bad habit of going in cold to a project because I am just so excited to get started, and it usually ends up coming back and biting me in the ass.

This writing will be my NUMBER ONE priority–more important than blogging, more important than surfing the Internet, more important than fall TV (thank goodness for DVRs).  As much as I love doing all those other things, I’m never going to get a book written if I don’t start putting it first.

Take that, life!

Word Counts - Today: 1,063 | August: 1,063 | 2008: 13,877

Things will be kind of quiet around the blog this weekend as I focus myself on more important real-life things, like my husband, family and friends. Two of our friends have experienced an indescribable loss, and it just makes you think about the kind of things that really matter.

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

~ Khalil Gibran

Word Counts - Today: 0 | August: 0 | 2008: 12,814

Shawn and I are taking a much needed, relaxing four-day weekend to go to the lake with family, sleep in, ride in my father-in-law’s new boat, read, and let the stress of the past month just melt off.  I think it’s the recharge we both need to get back to being our normal selves.

I plan on doing quite a bit of writing next week, especially given the fact that it’s a short work week again for me.  I’m looking forward to jumping back in with both feet!

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, I know I plan to!

Word Counts - Today: 0 | June: 0 | 2008: 4,473

In my brief interview on The Neal Show, Neal and I were talking about writers’ processes and when one should edit their own work. As I have mentioned in countless posts about my writing, it can be really difficult for me to turn that internal editor off and just let myself write freely. Often times, when I go back and re-read a passage, or if I’m typing in something I’ve written longhand, I will make small edits on the fly. Otherwise I try really hard not allow myself to touch something until it’s complete, because if I don’t I will never get it done, and I will never move on to anything else. Because of that, I have countless drafts that have never been finished.

I think that being prolific is important for any writer. You never know what kind of gem will pop out of a daily writing exercise or some notes that you make on a story idea that came to you in the shower. I used to be very disciplined in doing some kind of writing every day–either on a project, an assignment (when I was doing lots of freelance work), or just a writing prompt or timed writing exercise. I filled notebooks constantly and felt like I was on top of my creative game. It was the same way when I was involved with an online writing community; I churned out poems in mass quantities and felt like I was experiencing a lot of growth in my writing style. I’ve been pushing myself lately to get back to that level of prolific accomplishment, and slowly but surely, I think I’m heading in that direction. I’m consciously blogging more, and that is pushing me to write more, too. Blogging is great exercise for my writing muscles!

I also have a confession to make. Saturday was the first time I’ve ever admitted out loud (not in a blog) to anyone other than my closest friends and my husband that I’m writing a novel. I felt kind of weird saying it, like I was being pretentious or like I was an impostor. But now that the truth is out, I can’t take it back. Neal has it recorded. I told people at CAPE who asked what kind of an artist I am. I’m writing my first novel. Just saying it out loud was exhilarating. It may suck, it may never get published, and people may hate it…but I’m doing it.

I had an Internet-lite weekend and I feel like it reset my brain a little.  Despite a stressful Monday at work, I feel refreshed and ready to create again in my free time.

I occasionally checked blogs, Twitter and email, but I barely spent any time online this weekend. I went out to dinner with a group of friends, went out to lunch with other friends, cleaned our apartment with my husband, hung out with yet another friend, and got some domestic chores done that make me feel neat and organized.

I think that as artists, we sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to create.  I’ve been thinking about it SO much lately because I’m excited about all these new ventures opening themselves up to me, but at the same time I think the increased focus made me LOSE some focus.  Oh, the mind of an artist is an interesting one…I think I learn more about myself and the way I function every day.  It really is a fascinating journey!

I have some goals for this week, but I’m really feeling positive all of a sudden.  I was in a black mood for most of the day but when I started thinking about how restful and rejuvenating my weekend was, those dark clouds lifted and now I am itching to get home and work on what I love.

I should go offline more often…maybe then my laundry will actually get done!

Word Counts - Today: 0 | April: 0 | 2008: 0