paper graffiti

Yesterday I headed over to the library at my alma mater to do some research for work.  I needed some specific directories that I was shocked to find ONLY existed at the university library.  How inconvenient!  But, the university is close to home, so I really didn’t mind heading over there.  I worked from home yesterday morning, and then headed over to the library after lunch.

I’d forgotten that classes start tomorrow, so campus was a total nightmare full of kids and parents and SUVs parked by the curb.  I came in the back way instead of heading to the main driveway, thinking I’d be able to get to the library easier.  However, I did not take into account the 4+ new buildings they’ve built in the 5 and a half years since I graduated, nor the fact that said new buildings caused them to change some of the pathways into the university itself.  For about 10 minutes I was completely lost, and feeling dumber than a freshman at a frat party.  Thankfully I figured it all out, but not before I was spit out into the main driveway and forced to loop all the way back around to get to where I wanted to go.

Once I was parked, I began my trek over to the library.  It was actually pretty pleasant–campus is really beautiful, and the day wasn’t too incredibly hot by August-in-Texas standards.  I’ve definitely dealt with hotter orientation/move-in weeks!  My path to the library took me by the student center into the heart of campus.  There were students everywhere (I’d nearly run over a few of them), some with parents, some scoping out the lay of the land.  Extremely short shorts seemed to be the fashion choice of the day for the ladies, and I don’t think I saw a single guy wearing anything other than plaid douchebag shorts and polo shirts.

Two girls who I’d have pegged to be 14, tops, came out of the student center as I passed it, waggling around in their short shorts and giving me (in my cargo capris and a short sleeved hoodie) annoyed looks as I happened to fall into step in front of them.  They were talking about how coming to college was so exciting, not so much for the freshman and sophomore boys, but for the junior and senior boys.

“But I think I’m going to concentrate on juniors,” said one girl.  “Seniors have a lot of baggage, since they like, totally have to deal with life when they’re about to graduate.”

I snickered to myself, wondering how long it would take this girl to realize that most people had more baggage than the Louis Vuitton luggage set her daddy bought her when she turned sixteen.

“I wouldn’t mind being some senior’s baggage,” said the other girl.  Her friend scoffed.

“Juniors are the way to go, I’m telling you.  Seniors have too much serious stuff to worry about, but juniors want to party!”

I managed to stifle my laughter until they turned off in the direction of the dorms.  It seems almost impossible to me that 9 years ago this week, I was listening to my fluffy-headed roommate have an almost identical conversation across our dorm room with the President of Mexico’s niece.  We hadn’t started disliking each other yet, and I hadn’t yet met my best friends, who were moving in just down the hall, or my future roommate, who lived just two floors down from me and was probably as abjectly miserable with her living situation as I was with mine.  It’s hard to believe we were all ever that young.

I hope those girls pause in their partying to enjoy the rest of college just a little bit, because they’ll have baggage before they know it.

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So apparently Britney Spears is holding a big press conference on Thursday to announce “something big” to the public. I can only assume that she’s the new Cheetos spokesperson, set to shoot a video with Chester Cheetah a la “Opposites Attract” to debut during the next Superbowl. Or perhaps she’s finally gotten K-Fed to take a shower. That’d be nothing short of a damn miracle.

In the meantime, you can listen to K-Fed’s amazing, and by amazing I mean amazingly craptacular, single “Popozao” on Rhapsody. I leave you with the link. Be sure to check out his Microsoft Paint album art. He took that picture hisself, y’all! Finally figured out the cell phone camera. Then he got his production people to fire up Paint and produce a masterpiece. God, I fear for the future of this world when people like K-Fed have enough money to buy a record contract.

Experience true horror, K-Fed style!

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Last night, when I was on my way to the bank to deposit my paycheck, I witnessed something truly odd. A little old lady was finishing up washing her dog at the do-it-yourself car wash. She had just rinshed the dog, a little Benji-type terrier that looked pretty forlorn all soaking wet.

As I passed right by, she was unwinding the air dryer hose that people normally use for drying their upholstery while the dog just sat there, wagging his tail and waiting to be blown dry. From his calm behavior, I can only imagine that this isn’t the first time he’s been taken to the Lakewood Car Wash to get a bath.

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Oh Stacy, how far you have fallen.

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From an interview with The Washington Post, RE: playing concerts in Europe.

Just got back from Russia and played huge stadiums over there — 35,000 people a show. They’re out of that iron claw thing now, so any American act that plays there is really huge.

Seriously?  That iron claw thing?
Wow.

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